Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Perspective

On our flight from DFW to North Carolina I snapped this picture.


It feels like cheating to me... Seeing the clouds and all their majestic splendor from this perspective. I feel like this view is for God alone. We were above a rain storm. As soon as we broke through the clouds on our decent it was cold, gloomy and dark... This is what I felt like inside.. The perspective my two feet give me.

I started my period yesterday. It sucks on so many levels. Besides the fact I am on a get away trip with my husband I am 5 days early and now irregular again... Most horribly I am not pregnant. This is my perspective... And it sucks.

Last night Wade put this picture as my screensaver. This morning as I woke up to a glorious sun rise I was reminded that through Jesus I am able to see Gods perspective. I am loved. I have everything He wants me to have. I am complete. I am not cheating by seeing the glorious scenery above the storm... God invites me to join him there. And honestly there is no place I would rather be.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

RESPECT

Today President Bush was on Oprah. I never watch Oprah....no real reason but I do not always agree with her point of view. She is generous and for that I am grateful to her. Today I enjoyed hearing Bush reflect on his Presidency and the BIG decisions he made. I agree with him...with so many things from his faith in God to his devotion to family to his choice to go to war to many of his philosophies on standing firm to your own principles. I have an abundance of respect for him as a man and as a President. President Obama is not someone that I agree with or always like but I respect him. He is our leader and I will respect and follow. 

It makes my stomach turn to hear other people throw punches at our Presidents. To question is one thing but what I hear and read is not questioning or respectfully disagreeing. What I see is rude, tearing, ugly, hateful and flat out evil comments. It is that motive and heart of disrespect that is tearing our country apart.

We need to be respectful, watchful of our tongues and united. We need to get business done together as American people. It really is simple...take turns. You go and then I. 

Monday, November 8, 2010

No if's and's or but's about it

I ovulated! It was painful. For 2 days it felt like I had just had surgery on my ovaries. Just really sore.

Another side affect. We will find out if it was worth it or not.

Rejoice! Rejoice! And again I say rejoice. Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice. That is my song today :)

Last night in bible study we talked about what brings me closer to having affections for Christ and what robs me of my affection for Christ.  I have been thinking and praying this morning that I just want Jesus, nothing else. I want Jesus more than a baby. I want Jesus more than money. It is when I sit still in the quietness of the morning and read the bible that I feel the closet to God. The birds chirping cheerful songs, the warm glow and warmth of the morning sun, a hot cup of tea, the promise of a new day...all things that make me fall in love with Jesus again.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Zits!

Seriously I thought I had paid my debt to the zit creator in high school! My chin seems to be a permeant place for a mountain of a zit these days :( Thank God my husband loves me for my heart and not my skin!

My conclusion is that the zits are a side affect of the hormones. Any easy price to pay.

Have you ever had a zit...not a little red dot.... I mean a geyser? We should start a support group :)

Website Crunch Time


Check it out.....We would love your input!

www.montevistafarming.com/Development

We just added all the video for Harvest and the plant tour video will go up this weekend. I lived my career dream by working here! And now I am living the best of both worlds being at home with Hunter and still completing projects for the company I love :)  You too can make your dreams come true. Just plan, prepare and pray!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Deep and Wide




God's Love is deep and wide, deep and wide, there is a fountain flowing deep and wide. I love this song, grew up singing it. It is so true. God is a fountain of love!

I have been seeing so much of God in Hunter. The childlike love that pours out of him...the endless feeling of devotion and love I feel for him. God has made us in his image and I see that more every day, every time I stop to look, I see God.

We went into the city a few weeks ago to see Kristin finish the Nike woman's half marathon. Hunter was a champ! He had so many firsts and watching his eyes grow as big as saucers and being there as he was soaking it all in, seeing his excitement and a bit of his fear as he held tight to my hand on busy streets...it all lead me straight to the abundance of Gods love for me. It is when I am open and reflective that the most love and light pours into my life....we duh it is only when your eyes are open and you are paying attention that you able to see and understand what is happening around you.

I am on a train ride to heaven and I am learning to love every stop.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

In my system

I have completed taking Clomid a few days ago! No big emotional surge or any nagging side effects! Just swelling with hope and preparing for the worst at the same time.

I am preparing my mind and heart for the outcome God had planned for me. In the meantime I am living life!

Hunter and I went to work today at the almond plant. I sure do miss those people and the buzz of harvest. I am lucky to still be so close with them and look forward to life long friendships!

We watched the outcome of the elections tonight. The new house majority leader gave a heart warming speech! I really appreciate hard working people.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, October 29, 2010

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Day 3

Busy morning. Woke up early. Picked up bagels at the store. Bible study with great women. Healing chat with Pastor Mike. Cranky kid. Fed a friends little dog and white bunny. Headache. Is the headache from the clomid or the day?

As for now I just want to lie on the couch.

I spill it all out here...especially my dirty laundry...for me being open and honest, allowing people in to see me, allowing the holy spirit the chance to move in is all a part of my process of healing. It is how my dirty laundry is cleaned.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Day 2

I am crazy about this kid! Especially in the morning...it is by far his best time of day. He is sweet, obedient and just a riot to hang out with. Our pet sitting business has taken off and we are keeping busy watching peoples pets as they travel. This morning we were out in Mountain House and I just had to stop to take a few pictures. It has been so long since I was behind a camera. Not that I am a professional....I just love capturing his face and all of its expressions...most importantly the happy ones.



Day 2 is a good day. I do not feel any different. Just full of hope. My prayers have been so simple. Please. Please heal me. Please bless us with a child. Please prepare me for your will. Please give Hunter a best friend. Please.


It has been pressed upon my soul that I am not ready. I am not equipped for anything but what I have...the bad and the good. There are times I feel like my inability to get pregnant is directly tied to the consequences of getting pregnant before we were married. That is a lie I know, but convincing my heart has been a real chore. For years I have been fine with our choices and story....now I stumble, deal with embarrassment and shame....not of Hunter or Wade (my hero) but of myself.


I have been reading my bible more...gathering my armor because I know the devil has been close...and more importantly because the Holy Spirit has been closer preparing me. God is using me. He is using my mistakes and my success for his glory. This one small chapter of my life that is under a microscope right now...my infertility and sex before marriage have touched a soft spot that was not done healing. Now I am open and ready not only to be healed but to see what in the world God is going to do. Bring it.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Day 1

12 months, 12 tries, lots of sex, too much timing not enough fun, 1 big cyst later here I am without a pregnancy. I still have not really cried about it....I get close at times but I chin up and start planning our next attempt.

Well the cyst is gone, Praise be to God, and starting today we are trying Clomid. A drug that makes sure I ovulate and on time. We will see if it works. I have high hopes.

I know God is the opener and closer of wombs. I am lying my emotion and faith in that alone.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

A reminder

We all have some trinket around our homes that trigger a sweet memory or encourage us or remind us of something special.

This is mine. It has been packed away for years with my college stuff. I recently came across it and had to but it in it's proper place... On my bathroom mirror.

The heart is from my high school ag teacher. Those 4 years in ag lead me, prepared me and encouraged me to go into the field of ag professionally. I went to Cal Poly and met the best friends of my life. I grew close to God. I had countless experiences that led me to be the woman I am today.

When I graduated I thought I was going to change the world... I was on fire. Life happens I realized I am normal too, you get busy and caught up in just making ends meet.

When I came across this trinket a few months ago I realized I still want to change the world. I still have that fire... And this trinket reminds me of that!

Every day I want to be on fire for what I believe in. I want to make our world a better place. I am not just normal.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Laundry! I am good at washing it... Not so good a putting it away. I have to tease myself by offering some sweet reward if I power through it.

Tonight someone is coming over so it must get done! Wish I was better at it...something to work on:)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:One of my biggest faults

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Back From the Dead

I am back. I have been adjusting to our new routine of being at home...and it is great. Bloging was a part of my day at work. The computer was always on and open....and I had plenty of opportunity to write...now that is not the case.
I am going to make a conscious effort to sit down and write once a day. so get ready for whatever comes out....ha...what is new right.

Today I am at moms house. Last night sis and I went through some old pictures. My dance pictures from high school....I could only remember the name of one of my dates....seriously....love did not come until later in my life obviously. I also found a picture of my great grandparents! Grandma Winey was wearing her wedding ring...they are old...and they sweetly hold hands. Now I wear that ring as I hold Wade's hand. Cool to think about. I miss her.
As for Hunter he is a handful....but what can I expect out of a 2 year old. Potty training is coming along. It has taken time and dedication, but I think we make a bit of progress every day. Training my puppy Laredo was much easier. Hunter has been biting his nails non stop...there is hardly any nail left. I do not like this new habit. I have tried over the counter polish to try and get him to quit....no luck. So now I spend my time researching remedies.
I am still not pregnant...I just found out about a cyst on my right ovary through an ultrasound. Not sure if it has much to do with not getting pregnant. It makes sense and is not the first time. I have been thinking a lot about how perfect Hunter is. Some people may had or still do judge me for getting pregnant so quickly and before I was married. As for my thoughts....God blessed me and taught me years of lessons in 9 months. He brought me closer to him. I am endlessly grateful for my child....especially as I realize getting pregnant is not a given. I would not change a thing...not one second.
Now for a funny story before we head to the beach. Hunter was 30 minutes into number 2 on the big boy potty when he called me over. Finally he was finished I thought. When I walked in his eyes lit up as he told me that he saw humpback whales. Where I asked....he pointed to his poop!....He went on about how they were swimming in the toilet. Quite the imagination this kid....ha!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Today I am doulbly thankful! My dad has always been on my team, cheering for me endlessly. He has been a selfless model of ethics, morals, purposeful and intentional parenting and steadfastly centered on Christ! He is a big part of the reason I am happy and successful in life. He has always made me feel special and love.

Then came Wade and Hunter... Watching Wade with Hunter, hearing his prayers and seeing his hard work and devotion to making Hunter feel loved and special... My boys are more than just icing on my cake... The are the my second story of life!

Thanks Dad! Thanks Wade! For being incredible fathers who made the choice to do right by God and your families! Love you more.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Happy Father's Day Wade and Dad

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Where I am today


I want to start by saying I love being at home with Hunter...there is no place I would rather be. I know this is where God wants me and I am here...that alone is worth all the hard work to get here and will keep me here awhile.

This being at home chapter of my life is also new and different and I am far from settled into a routine. I am coming to a brutal realization that someone else knew my child better than I did....and that I am struggling to learn how to properly deal with tantrums, disciplining, eating right and keeping him away from the TV. As mothers I think there are times we all dream...that our house is clean, our children are fed healthy home cooked meals, we teach them endlessly, they are always safely entertained and they never disobey or through a fit when things do not go their way....but reality is far from that in my own home. Today a friend luckily had a tootsie roll in her purse that we could use to keep Hunter sitting in the cart...otherwise I still think I would be frantically chasing him all over Marshals.

I need to learn how to control, divert, discipline, teach and so many other things. I need to be prepared with my own tootsie rolls or proper words to guide my son into the proper place in life. I know that I am more than capable....I just feel heavy lately. Like I have or am failing him...

I know that is the farthest thing from the truth. In fact I know that is the devil.

I love my son and I am going to do right by him always...I will not be perfect...there will be days I loose my temper or just get lazy...but I will learn, I will improve and i will try. That is what counts right?

On another front....I am not pregnant. Perhaps that just makes me a bit more emotional? I want to be...we are trying. It was so easy the first time with Hunter. But then again as I type these words my heart is settling into the fact that I just need to have time with Hunter. God knows me and he hears my prayers and I am keeping my fingers crossed that when the time is right we will be blessed again with a child.

"By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." Proverbs 24:3-4

Thursday, April 29, 2010

My lead singer

Is this real?

It still does not feel right....to not set an alarm, to have NO concern for what time it is and to watch Wade drive away to work. Part of me thinks I am just on vacation...that this will end...and who knows maybe someday it might....but for today I just want to be in this moment. In the moment that Hunter wakes up and comes bouncing into my room with an ear to ear grin to find mommy, in the moments of circle time at the library and in the moment of the garden hose being the excitement of a hot day.

Seriously I am living my dream life.

Hunter...always know that you are our priority. You. Your health, your mind, your soul. You. Whatever the cost, whatever the sacrifice we will be there to do everything in our power to give you the BEST we have to offer. Know that money and things are not what drive dad and I...you are...our family is. Today when daddy came home from work...you put one arm around both of our necks and said "family"...oh how precious and priceless that one word is to us son...and I hope it always is for you too.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Loving my Sister

I just love her! I love her heart for people who suffer. I love watching her with Hunter. I love that she knows me...really knows me. I love her just as God created her to be.

I just want her to feel loved.


-- Post From My iPhone

I am nervous

In just 36 hours I will no longer be tied to work a rigid schedule... I will be free to just be with Hunter. My heart is jumping with joy...we have worked so hard, I have cried so many times, we have prayed endlessly and now the time in in front of me...

I should be thinking a million wonderful things...but instead I am nervous and anxious.

Can I teach him as well as Sonia has?
Will I have the patients to endure his terrible twos?
It is ever possible for me to clean and organize the house the way I want it?
Will we fall back into debt after working so hard to get out of it?
Can I handle not having pedicures and other luxuries?
How many issues am I causing Monte Vista by leaving?
Will I miss the productiveness and success of working?...and the people?
Will Wade feel too much pressure as the sole provider?


I have no clue why my mind is chugging on these questions when my heart so simply knows without a doubt that this is the right choice for me, for my family. Perhaps, again I am learning that the right choice is not always the easiest choice.

I do know that God has had his hand in this plan and in the decision. I believe that he will pour out blessings upon us in this new season of our lives. I guess I am just feeling a little naked as all my leaves fall to the ground...and I am looking forward to the new growth I know is coming.

Friday at 4...my world changes then.

Friday, April 16, 2010

I QUIT

I never have been much of a quitter....or at least I have tried to stick things out, give it my all. I have worked many jobs this far in life...childcare, waitress, vet hospital and almonds. Every past change of job has resulted from moving onto the next stage of my life...and now I get to make the change once more.

As of April 23rd I will no longer be Renee - wife, mother, full time operations director of a demanding almond packing facility. I will be Renee - 100% DEVOTED wife and mother. Wade and I have planned and prepared for this day. We have endlessly prayed. Now the time has come and I cannot wait. I wish Hunter understood right now what was going on....I just know he would jump up and down! He will know someday that Mommy and Daddy choose to put our family first, and that we did it ethically through hard work and planning. No short cuts. We paid off debt and reduced our spending in order to walk away from my salary.

I know that this is one of the best choices I will ever make in my life. I know the consequences of not having a plush budget and I also know the rewards of being home to raise our son. This is the right choice.

Quitting was HARD. I wrote a letter and sat across a large conference room table from the owner and just poured my heart out.... because that is how I roll. He took the news better than I had hoped! We are now 3 weeks into a 4 week phase out. I want to leave this place better than when I came. I want people to remember me fondly and with respect..... NOT as a lame duck.

Thanks Wade for being on the same page with me...for making this happen. For the rest of my life I will treasure these days to come. I am overflowing with love and respect for you.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Easter surprise!

These arrived at the door and I wish you all could have seen his face! He loves ballons!


-- Post From My iPhone

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Weekend Trip

We took a quick trip to visit Ericka and Nathan...and ohh did the boys have fun! I love this picture of Dr. McSteamy and Dr McDreamy!

I also cherish my time with Ericka. The honesty and openness between us is like a breath of fresh air. We can talk, disagree, laugh and cry all in the same hour...and of course the food is always good!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Falling

I am learning more about myself every day...and about life.. Perhaps that is what wisdom looks like...a collaboration of epiphany's. I always knew, because the bible told me so, that age came with wisdom. What I am loving today is that wisdom is not something you suddenly have or do not have, it is something that you acquire over time, over each lesson learned, over each triumph and each disappointment. All of that to say I think I am collecting a few tidbits of wisdom these days...and they feel more precious that diamonds.

I am an emotional, passionate, strong willed, go-get-em type of woman. I rise quickly and fall hard. At first I did not I ever want to fall, but I am realizing now that perhaps it is the falling HARD part that brings unnecessary pain without growth. Almost like a leaf on the most beautiful Oak tree, it must fall every year it is a part of it's necessary process of life. Have you ever watched falling leaves, they almost float. They are full of style and grace...they are gentle and meek. They slowly become a part of the soil which eventually energizes the tree to grow in the spring with an even further and stronger reach than before. I want to stop falling like a dense rock and start falling with grace and purpose. I want to fall in order rise again...except rise higher, stronger and wiser.

I can feel the season of my life changing...I have known it was coming for a while now. Change is never easy or simple...but it is required in order to grow...and oh how my souls craves growth at a pace that I have a hard time keeping up with. Big changes are coming and I want this change so badly. I have dreamed about it for 2 years. I have prayed about it every day. I have worked hard and sacrificed in order to make it happen and my husband, my right hand...he has worked even harder to see this dream come true. Now we are moments away.

I feel my leaves are ready to fall. And on Monday when they start coming down...I pray I have enough tidbits of wisdom in my heart to fall with grace, purpose and love.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

2 Years

Yesterday Wade and I celebrated 2 years of marriage! He is so good to me. There are a million times a day that I thank God for him...and I think wow God knew just what I needed! He loves me just as I am, he encourages me, he holds me accountable, I never get sick of him, he makes me laugh, he takes care of me when I am sick, he is an AMAZING father and he is a true leader. I love being married! Walking through the doors of our home brings me endless comfort and joy. I am full.

I found out that 2 years is a fiber anniversary. Wade took the time to look it up and order pillow cases with our names! I love them. We enjoyed dinner at my favorite place and Hunter behaved the entire meal!! When we got home Wade put our wedding video on!!!!!!!!!! What a treat to watch it. I have not seen it.....and watching it with him last night brought back so many beautiful emotions. March 15, 2008 was a magical day in my life....and it has only gotten better with time.

I hope to watch the video every year....I never want to forget the way I felt on that treasured day.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Friday, March 12, 2010

Time Away

I have always been the type to just toss a bag in the car and take off for a weekend adventure.
When Laredo was a pup we would hop on planes, travel in cars and crash at friends places. After Hunter made his debut I still got out for weekend very often....now my little man walks, has his own idea of what he wants to do and does not sit still. Traveling has become very complicated.

There are somedays I feel like complicated is bad and others I think complicated is beautiful. Seeing Hunter eyes explorer a new park and watching a huge smile creep onto his face, feeling him grab my hand and say "hurry mommy!" over and over until i picked up my feet, and holding him as he falls asleep after a long adventure filled day makes the 1200 pieces of luggage, while traveling WORTH IT! That is when complicated becomes beautiful.

Our weekend away in San Fran was perfect. Just an hours car ride, time with my parents, a to die for place to stay, perfect weather and a little adventure all made it a memorable weekend. And as always it is great to be home.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Solar

For the past two months I have been working on proposals to replace some of our electricity needs with Solar Power! In the process of Hulling/Shelling, Packing and Shipping Almonds we use over $300,000 a year in electricity! I knew solar would be expensive, I knew solar would come with grants and government incentive for a business like ours, and in the long run I knew solar would have incredible financial reward...but I did not expect to have our carbon footprint outlined so simply.

By replacing one of our 9 electric meters with solar power it would be equal to planting 194 acres with trees.

I love that it was that simple for my heart to understand. I want this plant to be a place that is as wonderful for Hunter as it is for me. If we go through with this plan for solar I want to name my 194 acres of trees....aka our solar farm...Hunter's forest! Ha.

I really believe solar is going to happen in a big way for our country. I think it needs to. The rebates and incentives are tiered and over time they will disappear as more people get involved in solar. I also believe the technology will blow our minds in the years to come....I think of what the Iphone has done to cell phones and I have faith that something big is in the works for solar power.

Therefore it is really when not if for solar power. We each get to make that call. Same with DVD players...it was when will you toss your tape players and get a DVD player. Same with flat screen TV's, computers and so much more. But what I LOVE about solar technology is that it not only is cool but it comes without wires, it harnesses the primary God given source of energy and it makes our planet stronger and healthier.

I love solar.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Black or White


Parenting is GRAY to me. Has Hunter terrible two's and his screaming/throwing/hitting/super clingy to mommy stage is "normal" or have I failed to teach him some necessary socialization skill...?? We make the best calls we can each day. There is no black or white, right or wrong. Each child is a master piece.

Moments like this video he is a fun loving, smart little boy and then other moments he is monster.

My mom would quickly say this is payback...and that history proves strong willed children when led correctly flourish in success....they are true leaders who rock this world for Jesus.

We are trying. I keep telling myself that we are trying to do everything we can for this little monster. To make him strong, healthy and happy. I pray that is enough and sleep well knowing there are way more sweet moments than I can count!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Signs

USA beat Canada in the Winter Olympics ice hockey for the first time in a LONG time....and her sign reads this...silly girl.

As for Wade, he still has hope in Canada's Ice hockey team and in America's current health care system!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Spring is Here!

We took Hunter out in his Jeep today...and he had so much fun! This is just an empty field across form the mall...

It has been too long since I have shared a picture of my baby almond trees! They are in full bloom and in a matter of weeks they will be green and growing like weeds!


We bought some seeds to start...I know I am a bit late but I have faith my little seedlings will grow quickly so I can put some color in my yard. I am working on a big herb garden and an assortment of colorful flowers. Wade and I have been talking about our garden this year...of course cucumber and i was thinking tomatoes too! Hunter loves squash and carrots....and I love teaching him were food comes from.

What are you planting this year?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

If I could control ONE thing...

It would be the big bad world of the INTERNET...and guaranteeing that I would always be able to connect.

Working in the Boone docs among almond trees does not allow for many internet connection options...and when we are without it we loose all work email, access to our other offices and their servers and SO much more.

Some people I work with actually think I am in control of the internet and if it is working....I WISH.

What do you wish you were in control of?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Nothing short of AMAZING!

That is what my husband is.

He lets me fall asleep in the middle of conversations late in the evening.

He watches some of my girly TV shows with me.

Weekly grocery store trips are always made together and he even gives great input on meal planning!

Projects around the house are fun and his ability to renovate with style is astounding.

He also takes careful notes about me and what he can do to love me and support me. After reading yesterdays post he changed the website!

Here is the before and after! I just love how it turned out!

Monday, February 8, 2010

This is What We Do!


Wade has spent quit a bit of time on the Monte Vista Farming Website over the past year....and it is AMAZING...except for one factor....I do not like the picture on the home page. It is a picture of almond trees and it is beautiful.



But we do not grow almonds. We STORE, SORT and SHIP almonds.


I took a few more pictures today and I will continue to find time to walk around with my camera more often. I am still playing with what should go on our home page. More than anything I want people to know what we do...and that we do it well!
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Friday, February 5, 2010

Twisted


There are many times in a day that my thoughts get so twisted. I become caught up in this world, my feelings, my failures, my dreams that are not nearly accomplished and just how plain tired I am. I let these thoughts circle in my mind. I fester and worry. Doubt overcomes me. The devil has my attention.

Then in one quick second I am reminded of how loved I am. I see a picture of my son. My husband calls. My grandma sends me a quick love note over email. I notice the scripture posted on my desk at work. A smile from a coworker. I see something that resembles a cross. That is all it takes and I am back to believing that I am unstoppable. Then Christ has my attention.

I want to be that for other people.....that pick that breaks the ice, that flame that starts a fire, that gentle reminder that you can just turn off all the bad thoughts....and keep moving...because we can....because our debt is paid....

The truth is I am twisted....just like this old oak tree...but with every twist I learn and grow...I become wiser, stronger, faster and more prepared for what is next. It is in the twists that my strength lies....it is there that my beauty comes from. I want other people to know that..to feel that....to believe that.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

A night OUT in the Tank


We had the privilege of a night out on a hot date with some great friends of ours....and where do you think we went....?? A sharks hockey game of course!
I love spending time with my favorite friends. I love watching them grow and learn. I love learning from them and hearing their stories. I love sharing moments like these with them.

As I exit the honeymoon phase of my marriage I have come to appreciate being around other married couples that are in LOVE and giving it all they got to show each other that. It is an encouragement and just plain fun to spend time with Kristin and Travis. I hope we always walk through the days of our lives as close friends....friends who can be real, be accountable and know that forever Wade and I will be there for them.

A Trip to the Zoo



This is one of my favorite things to do with Hunter and Wade!

We took a trip to our local zoo on Sunday. The whole time were were there we saw less than a dozen people. The sun came out and it warmed up a bit. I finally got to walk through the Japanese gardens. We never once looked at our phones to see who called, our email to catch up on work or our watches to tell what time it was....we just were together doing what made us laugh and smile.

I want to find more things that we can do together that make me feel this way.




I may be slow like a turtle in figuring out how to balance work and family...but I am trying and slowly but surely I am making some progress.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Sun has Set

Oracle purchased Sun Microsystems. It is official.

Wade has a job! He is an Oracle employee.

The waiting is over. Finally.

The truth is that as a family we would have been OK with whatever happened with Wade's job. Loosing his job was never my biggest fear or hurdle....it was the waiting. Almost like our lives have been on hold or frozen for 9 months. Every conversation, decision and dollar spent made us think about the Sun and Oracle merger.

Today I feel free. Free to live a life that is no longer bound by a fear of what will happen to Sun and ultimately Wade's job. Free to make the dream come true.

Wade, I know this has been a long time coming....You made it. They want you. Your work is of value. I always believed in you...and even if they loose faith in the months and years to come....I never will. You are gifted and God has a plan and purpose for your life...I am simply grateful to be a part of it. Love you.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Happy Birthday Best Friend

I never get tired of you...even when I was a punk teenager and we fought every second of every day...

You are the most beautiful woman that I know (...well tied with mom)
You have showed me what unconditional means

I think of you every day

I pray for you every time I think of you

I know that as long as my heart pumps blood around my body that you will be a BIG and IMPORTANT and TREASURED part of my life

You are genuine, thoughtful, continuously learning and growing

I would not be me without you...you have made me stronger, wiser and more beautiful than you will ever know

You are my sister and there is no one on this planet that could ever fill your roll in my life

You are my BEST friend...and I have some REALLY GREAT friends.

You are not my best friend because you are my sister. You loved and cried and put in real honest hard work....you have earned that title.

Happy Birthday Best Friend. I LOVE you.

Thank you Jesus for her...for blessing my life with her. I hope someday you bless Hunter in the same way.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Lost Photos

An old friend
A BEST friend
A forever friend
Shared a few pictures with me I had never seen


They took my breath away
and brought back memories from years ago like they were yesterday

She held my baby when he was just a week old
We all looked like a million bucks
Marriage and babies was new and exciting
We were young and naive
We were on the cusp of living as adults

So much has changed....



I simply and completely love these women in a way that I can never fully explain
They just make me smile
They are my girls
They speak truth in a rare form of love
They are always there, always forgiving, completely accepting and know me inside and out

There are no words for the depth of our love and friendship.

Finding these pictures is better than buried treasure.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Thanks Mom

Mom did a bit of digging and found this out about Canada's health care program....

"Abortions in Canada are provided on request and funded by Medicare, to Canadian citizens and permanent residents (as with most medical procedures) in hospitals across the country. Abortion funding for hospitals comes from the various provincial governments (their overall health expenses are however paid for in part by the federal government). One-third of hospitals perform abortions, and these perform two-thirds of abortions in the country. The remaining abortions are performed by public and private-for-profit clinics.

sorry dear "

YUCK! Please tell me that I am not the only one that is sick over the use of tax dollar to fund abortion.....

Monday, January 18, 2010

A change is coming...at least in the state of MA. I cannot stand too much political talk, debate and news in my life....it makes my blood boil....it ruins nice evenings....and most times there is NOTHING I can do about it. Wade and I have been watching and listening to the health care debate unfold. There have been times, many times, that I just have not understood why this is happening this way. I am OK with not getting my way or things happening that I may think are not what our country needs....that is the ebb and flow of life.

What I have a hard time with is paying for someone to get an abortion. It more than bothers me...or causes a knot in my stomach...it literally causes me physical pain for me to realize that MY tax dollars could KILL a child.

When Ted Kennedy passed away and the "people's Senate seat" became available I said a silent prayer that God might put a warrior there. A warrior that could stop my fear from becoming reality. Against all odds in one of the most liberal states....a republican got elected last night. More importantly a conservative fellow that will fight this health care bill as it stands today.

As Wade and I debated about how the DARK blue state of MA could elect a RED Republican at this time in their agenda.....I realized that I am not alone in my pain. In fact a "think tank" discussion with the voters of MA on FOX news really outlined what was happening in their state and I believe across our great nation. People are not OK with the current agenda....even the same people that elected to put that agenda into place a year ago.


A change is coming....and I hope that I NEVER EVER have to fear my (hard work) tax dollars being used in a fashion such as abortion again. I am OK with the voters choice and the people being herd...even when it is not what I agree with.... however I will NOT be OK with paying for abortion even if every other voter in America is....and if it happens I just might have to move to Canada.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Dear Judy

Dear Judy,

You were there in Haiti on a missions trip when the earthquake hit! At first when I found out I thought how horrible....then I quickly realized that this is not something that just randomly happened to you...but that you were chosen and prepared for this time. God is using you.
He is using you there in Haiti to touch and change peoples life throughthe POWER and LOVE of Christ. ..but he is also using you here, at home, to change my life.

You are an inspiration, an encouragement and I love you. You have not only been a dear friend to my mother, but a strong woman - a Christ inspired - woman that I have had the privilege of knowing for most of my years.

Send my love, my tears and my deepest sympathy to the people that you are touching every day.

You are in prayer...All of the people in Haiti are in prayer.

God is good. In times of tragedy and triumph... God is good.

Renee Little



Here are links to Paul's blog and the OC register news article....Pray with me....will you?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Dentist

I went to the dentist yesterday...and had my teeth cleaned and examined. I was sweating this appointment....you see since I moved to Tracy, Ca I have tried a few dentists and they have all been AWFUL. The hygienists have been heavy handed, rough and caused a great deal of pain. I also knew I had cavities but refused to go back there....now I was stuck with a sore tooth and no choice but to go visit a dentist.

I choose a new office just down the street from my house. They had TV's for me to watch while I was having my teeth cleaned! The hygienists was gentle and kind....while getting my teeth really clean in the process. Their office and equipment was high tech...I got to see all my digital xrays on the computer screen at my seat! Let's just say I was a good girl and that I will be going back to that office again!

Finding a good dentist is right up there on my top 10 things I will be thankful for this Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Football

My cousin Jake plays football and he is amazing. His high school team won state champs this year in Alabama!!!



I wish he lived closer. I wish I was able to go to his games...wear his team color and cheer for him.

Being far away from family SUCKS.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

80 Things


Here are 80 things my sister and I love about our grandma Betty on her 80th Birthday.

80. She has never forgot me on my birthday
79. Her soft touch
78. How clean her house always is
77. The easter egg hunts she would put together for my sister and I
76. My summers at her lake house in Nebraska
75. How she would play the organ for me
74. Her gingersnap recipe
73. The small horses she made for me one birthday...she always knew just what I wanted
72. I have never seen her angry or yelling
71. She smells wonderful...not like stinky perfume or just plain soap....she smells like home
70. She would sit and read to me as long as I liked when I was a child
69. She did not judge me one second when I was pregnant out of wedlock
68. When there is a bargain she finds it...when there is a coupon she clips it
67. Her hands...I just love them...they are beautiful
66. How she taught me a bit of sign language
65. Her well rounded opinions that are formed from a life of hard work
64. Steak Diane...I love this tradition she gave to me on Christmas Eve
63. I have never heard her complain
62. She sets aside a time to talk to my mom every Sunday...no matter what
61. She walks different routes through her house to avoid traffic wear on her carpet
60. Her health is important to her
59. So she eats well
58. And walks every night
57. I love her style. She is always neatly dressed and watches the latest fashions
56. At my wedding she seemed to glow...she was so beautiful
55. Feeding the ducks the heal of the loaf of bread off her pack patio in Ventura
54. Trips to the swimming pool in Kansas City
53. She gave me long, warm oatmeal baths when I got the Chicken Pox
52. Her voice....it is like an angel
51. How she would sing along to all the songs in the movie "Scrooge" as we watched it every Christmas
50. $1 table presents
49. Her house is always super clean and very comfortable
48. She drives a HOT car!!!
47. She looks cute when she is cleaning,without even breaking a sweat, making it look so easy
46. She is extremely selfless, and always willing to give up something of hers for someone else
45. She is a HUSKER fan :)
44. Her life story is very interesting, and it is an honor to see the woman she has become on her journey
43. She gave us an AMAZING grandfather growing up, and has yet again brought another amazing gentleman into our family
42. She always smells pretty
41. She dresses cuter than I do
40. She is patient
39. She is kind
38. She is an amazing baker, and always shares her secrets
37. She has a positive outlook on every situation
36. She is a great listener
35. She has the ability to listen and give advice without being judgmental
34. She is very sharp on the facts of history and even current events
33. She has such a detailed memory of conversations, people, events, I am jealous she can remember more of my childhood than I can
32. She gets more gorgeous every year
31. She does not seem to dwell on the past, mistakes or uncertainties
30. She has the ability to really fall in love, even after unimaginable heartache
29. She is very witty
28. Her junk emails are usually really cute, the best junk email kind
27. She has a soft touch to her, and you feel like you could melt into her arms when she hugs you
26. She looks good in shoulder pads (hard to do)
25. She is very hospitable
24. She still knows how to party
23. She is always taking up a new hobby, dancing, weight lifting, book clubs, choirs
22. Everything in her house matches
21. Her house always feels like home, even thought its not my home
20. She has taught us to value family, and to love them unconditionally
19. She loves the Lord with all her heart, mind and soul
18. She is a great traveler
17. She gave us a really fun uncle
16. She is took the time to stitch something special for Hunter when he was born
15. Her house, and mom's, and mine, are full of creations from her sewing machine
14. She loves animals - especially poodles and Siamese cats
13. She cuts out newspaper clippings and mails them to me with a sweet note
12. She prays for me
11. Her computer skills are sharp..which means we email and Skype!
10. She is wise
9. Her money is spent with purpose and planning
8. She protects herself
7. Her family comes first
6. How selfless she is
5. She participates in community events...and is always volunteering
4. She never played favorites with my sister and I
3. She calmed my mom down when she was REALLY mad at us girls
2. She gave us our mother...the most wonderful gift she has given (in my opinion)
1. She intentionally, purposefully, unconditionally and powerfully loves us

We love you Grandma.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The ULTIMATE sign of Hospitality

I was born in the deep south....I mean deep. I am talking about swamps, long drawls in speech and big white magnolias. We left Louisiana before I even started school, but I went back for 6 months during college.... for an "internship" but more than that a boy. For those six months I lived with his folks and they showed me the true definition of southern hospitality.

Their lake home was breathtaking. Miss. Brenda cooked my favorite meals, put sweet notes by my bedside, cut fresh flowers from her garden and put them in my room, took me on tours of her favorite spots, hugged me every time I walked in the door, left mints on my pillow and strategically placed pictures of me all over her home. I felt more than welcome.

I left that summer with a broken heart, fun memories and a good lesson on how to open your heart and your home to your guests. It was a summer I will always remember and think of often.

Over the past 7 years since that summer I have stayed in many homes and traveled to many places....and none welcomed me like Miss. Brenda...that is until Canada.

My in-laws insist we stay in their room. They give up their BED. Seriously it is the warmest, most loved and endlessly welcomed feeling I have ever had. Then my darling Canadian sister and brother in-law did the same thing....gave up their master suite for us. It is not about money, comfort or style....it is about giving the people you love the best you've got.PERIOD.

I love them...and not because they give me things and won't let me pay (EVER). But because they continuously go out of their way to love Wade, Hunter and I. They purposefully and intentionally make sure we know they love us.

It has been a new lesson for me. A lesson of selflessness. I am humbled and loved. I could not imagine it gets any better than this...

Monday, January 4, 2010

Right Now

Right now I am missing this...my sister. This Christmas was nothing short of amazing...but I would by lying if I said it was complete...how could it be complete without her?

I know that I am all grown up and married and this is just part of life....celebrating holidays and birthdays apart....I do not think I will ever get used to being away from her.