My lead singer

Is this real?

It still does not feel right....to not set an alarm, to have NO concern for what time it is and to watch Wade drive away to work. Part of me thinks I am just on vacation...that this will end...and who knows maybe someday it might....but for today I just want to be in this moment. In the moment that Hunter wakes up and comes bouncing into my room with an ear to ear grin to find mommy, in the moments of circle time at the library and in the moment of the garden hose being the excitement of a hot day.

Seriously I am living my dream life.

Hunter...always know that you are our priority. You. Your health, your mind, your soul. You. Whatever the cost, whatever the sacrifice we will be there to do everything in our power to give you the BEST we have to offer. Know that money and things are not what drive dad and I...you are...our family is. Today when daddy came home from work...you put one arm around both of our necks and said "family"...oh how precious and priceless that one word is to us son...and I hope it always is for you too.

Loving my Sister

I just love her! I love her heart for people who suffer. I love watching her with Hunter. I love that she knows me...really knows me. I love her just as God created her to be.

I just want her to feel loved.


-- Post From My iPhone

I am nervous

In just 36 hours I will no longer be tied to work a rigid schedule... I will be free to just be with Hunter. My heart is jumping with joy...we have worked so hard, I have cried so many times, we have prayed endlessly and now the time in in front of me...

I should be thinking a million wonderful things...but instead I am nervous and anxious.

Can I teach him as well as Sonia has?

Will I have the patients to endure his terrible twos?

It is ever possible for me to clean and organize the house the way I want it?

Will we fall back into debt after working so hard to get out of it?

Can I handle not having pedicures and other luxuries?

How many issues am I causing Monte Vista by leaving?

Will I miss the productiveness and success of working?...and the people?

Will Wade feel too much pressure as the sole provider?

I have no clue why my mind is chugging on these questions when my heart so simply knows without a doubt that this is the right choice for me, for my family. Perhaps, again I am learning that the right choice is not always the easiest choice.

I do know that God has had his hand in this plan and in the decision. I believe that he will pour out blessings upon us in this new season of our lives. I guess I am just feeling a little naked as all my leaves fall to the ground...and I am looking forward to the new growth I know is coming.

Friday at 4...my world changes then.

I QUIT

I never have been much of a quitter....or at least I have tried to stick things out, give it my all. I have worked many jobs this far in life...childcare, waitress, vet hospital and almonds. Every past change of job has resulted from moving onto the next stage of my life...and now I get to make the change once more.

As of April 23rd I will no longer be Renee - wife, mother, full time operations director of a demanding almond packing facility. I will be Renee - 100% DEVOTED wife and mother. Wade and I have planned and prepared for this day. We have endlessly prayed. Now the time has come and I cannot wait. I wish Hunter understood right now what was going on....I just know he would jump up and down! He will know someday that Mommy and Daddy choose to put our family first, and that we did it ethically through hard work and planning. No short cuts. We paid off debt and reduced our spending in order to walk away from my salary.

I know that this is one of the best choices I will ever make in my life. I know the consequences of not having a plush budget and I also know the rewards of being home to raise our son. This is the right choice.

Quitting was HARD. I wrote a letter and sat across a large conference room table from the owner and just poured my heart out.... because that is how I roll. He took the news better than I had hoped! We are now 3 weeks into a 4 week phase out. I want to leave this place better than when I came. I want people to remember me fondly and with respect..... NOT as a lame duck.

Thanks Wade for being on the same page with me...for making this happen. For the rest of my life I will treasure these days to come. I am overflowing with love and respect for you.

Easter surprise!

These arrived at the door and I wish you all could have seen his face! He loves ballons!


-- Post From My iPhone