What kind of parent do you want to be?
What kind of parent are you today?
No matter what I am doing through out my day these seem to be common thoughts in my mind. Sometimes I brush it off and do not stop to think or dig deep into my answers because it is too thick a jungle to navigate. Other times I start to process my thoughts and am only distracted by a hungry baby, a ring of the door bell or a cry from the baby which leads to some type of conversation or punishment from Hunter that needs to be dealt out.
So when I heard a big name physiologist and parenting book author was in town giving a free seminar....I handed the kiddos off to Wade for a few hours and convinced my sweet neighbor to come with me to hear what this guy had to say. I wanted answers to my questions. I wanted to know that I was being a good momma. I only left with more questions...
Am I listening to others on how to be a good parent or am I listening to my heart?
Is my generation really as awful at parenting as this guy thinks we are?
I am reading a fun book about a magic room. It is room in a bridal store that is full of mirrors, perfect lightening and a pedestal. It is a book about much more than a room or a bridal store it is a story about women on the verge of marriage. I imagined the book would be full of innocent stories of brides in love picking out their dream dress for their dream day. However the book is full of statistics on marriages, brides and relationships daughters have with their mothers and fathers. Well PHEW I am at least off the hook here...I do not have a daughter. But I was a pregnant bride, something the book talks about a great deal....almost as if they imply I am less of a parent or do not care about the environment my babies are raised in. The author of the book is older and obviously from a generation that holds great value to marriage and also holds judgments on what he finds as a disrespect to marriage. Lastly, the author has three daughters, and speaks a great deal to the type of man he wants for his girls...and he does so in a way that leads me to believe that there is not a man out there good enough. So I am left with more questions....
Do I value marriage less because I was a pregnant bride?
How am I preparing my boys to be leaders, lovers, providers, protectors and patient enough to deal with these bridezillas?
My truth is that I have some work to do....a jungle of thoughts to hack through so that I can set a pace and plan for my parenting choices. Being a parent is hard work if you are doing it right. I am learning that I have to have tunnel vision, I have to know what I want for my boys and work hard at making it happen for them. I am going to start with what I want the end to look like....I believe that will work itself out to answer my questions.
Things I want for Hunter and Colt
-For them to know the love of Jesus Christ
-To understand discipline and be able to apply it in their lives
-For them to be good citizens. Not just friendly neighbors and voters. But to believe in america and care about its land, people and values
-To be hard workers with good work ethics. To do what is right no matter the cost
-I hope they are humble and respectful. Kind and friendly.
-I want them to be courageous and confident in what they are doing without pride
-For them to know love and be able to love with choices not feelings
Now I need to commit my life and time with them to teaching them these things. Mostly with actions and not words. I am finding that for me....parenting is about instilling values more than teaching ABC's and words not to use.
Now where did I put my machete....I have a lot of jungle to cut down
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