Day 2

I am crazy about this kid! Especially in the morning...it is by far his best time of day. He is sweet, obedient and just a riot to hang out with. Our pet sitting business has taken off and we are keeping busy watching peoples pets as they travel. This morning we were out in Mountain House and I just had to stop to take a few pictures. It has been so long since I was behind a camera. Not that I am a professional....I just love capturing his face and all of its expressions...most importantly the happy ones.

Day 2 is a good day. I do not feel any different. Just full of hope. My prayers have been so simple. Please. Please heal me. Please bless us with a child. Please prepare me for your will. Please give Hunter a best friend. Please.

It has been pressed upon my soul that I am not ready. I am not equipped for anything but what I have...the bad and the good. There are times I feel like my inability to get pregnant is directly tied to the consequences of getting pregnant before we were married. That is a lie I know, but convincing my heart has been a real chore. For years I have been fine with our choices and story....now I stumble, deal with embarrassment and shame....not of Hunter or Wade (my hero) but of myself.

I have been reading my bible more...gathering my armor because I know the devil has been close...and more importantly because the Holy Spirit has been closer preparing me. God is using me. He is using my mistakes and my success for his glory. This one small chapter of my life that is under a microscope right now...my infertility and sex before marriage have touched a soft spot that was not done healing. Now I am open and ready not only to be healed but to see what in the world God is going to do. Bring it.